Hari keenam, sunyi, senyap, something is missing, yes, everything is different now. No morning jokes, no afternoon calls, no evening shout, no happy dinner. Dull. Nothing. He is away from us. We try to be strong, try to pretend everything is fine. Start from now, I have to feed the fish, fix the pipe line, check the water filter, pre-check the car every morning (even I’m not mastered yet)
, clean up the gun, watching his shoes, cut down the grass if necessary. There are too many things I had to do which he never hand over to me yet! I remember a few days ago he taught me on how to jack a car, “Kalau kau mau jack ni kreta, ko mesti tau mana mau jack, ko pigang ni besi, mesti kasi ngam ngam ini besi, kalau tidak.. Bom! Habis, hancur kreta di lantai”
I just laugh and said, ya la ya la.. sya tau.. (hugging him from the back – pretend dont want to listen, harap him only)
And now the biggest fear, losing him like losing part of my body, handicaped (did i spell it right?)
, but I had to move on.
Mummy wake me up this morning, mau urus mastercard dady, tengah orang susah, sana juga dorang tagih hutang. So, I had to drive and bring mummy to CIMB, Inanam. Grandma says, mummy mesti kena bawa jalan supaya orang tidak takut dengan dia, or macam buang sial like that la. Cuaca mendung saja. Arrive CIMB about 10am, glad I have friend over there who I prefer called him Alil. He assist us without taking any ticket number. He said, biarlah tu kredit kad and I was like “hah?” then he ask whether dady own ASB account, I ask mummy, she said yes, Alil help me to claim the RM200..errr.. bantuan ka apa tu.. Not very sure, but that what we received, bantuan from ASB. About all the debt, we have to go to Mahkamah Anak Negeri to fill some forms then we can clear it. Berat hati mengurus semua ni. Penat and sedih sekali.